Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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