is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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