I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
