I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
