I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
