Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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