hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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