My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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