I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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