Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
