You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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