but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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