my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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