I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
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you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize