yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
