so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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