Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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