You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
