before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
