Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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