Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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