He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
