my mouth tastes like poor choices
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
