I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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