Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
