i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
