i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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