I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
