Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
