I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..