Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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(650): Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah http://tfl.nu/pdwe

Replies (2) Good night (1776) Bad night (772)
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(248): View more from Michigan

do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

RUDE.

(248): View more from Michigan

I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

outsmarted mickey deeeees

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(248): do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions. (1-248): RUDE. (248): I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o. (1-248): outsmarted mickey deeeees http://tfl.nu/mqmo

Replies (11) Good night (3137) Bad night (836)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...

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(210): I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling... http://tfl.nu/2wcp

Replies (9) Good night (1170) Bad night (5026)
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(925): View more from California

I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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(925): I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder. http://tfl.nu/ta5a

Replies (31) Good night (4668) Bad night (725)
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(419): View more from Ohio

A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.

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(419): A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day. http://tfl.nu/d5nb

Replies (27) Good night (7886) Bad night (1057)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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(630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6

Replies (12) Good night (1045) Bad night (3773)
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(406): View more from Montana

Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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(406): Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified. http://tfl.nu/dihz

Replies (14) Good night (5112) Bad night (1728)
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(256): View more from Alabama

you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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(256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk

Replies (11) Good night (13596) Bad night (1491)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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(610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom

Replies (6) Good night (3330) Bad night (1033)
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(216): View more from Ohio

she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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(216): she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm" http://tfl.nu/ofag

Replies (20) Good night (4761) Bad night (1199)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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(781): he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me" http://tfl.nu/6fll

Replies (16) Good night (1704) Bad night (2795)
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(518): View more from New York

I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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(518): I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much http://tfl.nu/5fop

Replies (3) Good night (1386) Bad night (646)
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(334): View more from Alabama

You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.

(205): View more from Alabama

Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.

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(334): You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk. (205): Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner. http://tfl.nu/j3pe

Replies (5) Good night (2047) Bad night (599)
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(206): View more from Washington

Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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(206): Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out http://tfl.nu/3o9i

Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (311)
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(802): View more from Vermont

It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind

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(802): It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind http://tfl.nu/l4my

Replies (1) Good night (214) Bad night (361)

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