His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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