Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(865): View more from Tennessee

He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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(626): View more from California

I reek of latex and grilled onions.

(626): View more from California

Mission accomplished.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!

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