so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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