Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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