Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
