He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
