haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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