I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize