What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
