How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
