I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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