Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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