Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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