i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
