i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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