Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
