I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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