from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
