Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
