Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
