You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
