my soul wont recognize me after tonight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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