she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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