hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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