Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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