good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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