My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
