I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
