I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize