Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
