you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
