so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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