Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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