How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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