So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no, he came in my armpit
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
