I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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