She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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