You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
