If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
