I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
