Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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