so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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